A Hairsbreadth Away
by Traci
Summary: SMacked.  A long day goes horribly worse for Mac and Stella.  Will Stella survive the most recent attack on NY?  Will Mac survive if she doesn’t?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If the other whoknowshowmany stories I've written aren't an indication – none of this belongs to me. Sadly.

Rating: K+

Category: SMacked, Drama, angst, DL established

Spoilers: Um, go with first 3 seasons – but random stuff.

Author: Traci

Summary: A long day goes horribly worse for Mac and Stella. Will Stella survive the most recent attack on NY? Will Mac survive if she doesn't?

Author Note: I love fluff but don't usually write it. This is definitely NOT a fluff piece but may be a bit out of character for Mac – although, given the circumstances, it wouldn't surprise me if he did react the way he does here. Oh, and took a bit of creative liberties on the medical stuff involving Stella :D. It's been soooooo long since I wrote real angst – I soooo missed it!!!! Oh, and the misquotes of Stella's lines are all my fault – I'm too lazy today to go back and watch the eps to get them 100 right. Sorry.

* * *

**A Hairsbreadth Away **

* * *

It had been a very long day for CSI's Mac Taylor and Stella Bonasera. It started with an early morning call about a murder that had sent Stella back to the lab and Mac across the river to New Jersey. Once there, he found he needed Stella there so, leaving things to the other very capable lab techs, Stella drove through the tunnel and met up with her partner.

Rush hour had already begun by the time they finished up at the extended scene enough to leave.

"I'm sorry you got stuck driving too, Stella," Mac had offered as she opened the driver's door.

She turned and grinned at him. "You owe me one and don't think I won't make you pay!" With a laugh, she climbed in, closed the door and rolled down the window. "Are you following me?"

He nodded. "If I lose you, I won't be far behind. Dinner after we get back?"

"You'd better believe it!"

Mac got into his own SUV and waved for her to go first. Amidst the traffic to the Lincoln Tunnel, he ended up being about fifteen cars behind Stella. It took them nearly an hour just to make it through the tolls of the tunnel only to be met with more standstill traffic. Another twenty minutes and Mac was only a few car lengths into the tunnel. He figured Stella was at least halfway through if not more. Picking up his cell phone to call, he found little to no reception. With a sigh, he yawned then froze in an instant.

A loud explosion resounded through the tunnel followed by a bright flash of light.

"No, not Stella, please not Stella," he muttered pushing the driver door open and running towards the scene, fighting his way through the masses that were forcing him further away from Stella. With determination, he managed to make his way against them to find the burning remains of a van and numerous cars all piled atop each other.

"Stella?" he cried. "Stella?" He coughed and covered his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. "Stella?"

His heart stopped as his eyes fell upon a mass of curls lying face down on the road in a pool of blood. _Please, don't be Stella._ Kneeling down, he carefully moved her hair from the side of her face and sighed. It wasn't her. With a bit of guilt over his relief, he continued walking around. Thick smoke impaired a clear view.

"Stella?"

Mac finally found Stella standing against a wall among the wreckage. As he approached her, his heart pounded faster. She looked a bit woozy but, more than that, her face was red with fresh blood.

"Stella?"

She dazedly looked towards the voice but barely registered it.

Reaching her, Mac cupped her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. "Stella," he repeated. The blood was warm and sticky against his palms but he did not care.

"M…Mac?" she asked, still seeming confused. "What happened?"

"We have to get out of here, are you okay to walk?"

Stella took a step and nearly fell over. "No."

With a sigh, he searched for somewhere they could sit and he could attend to her wounds. "Come on," he gently told her, sliding an arm around her waist to help steady her. He led her just a little away from the burning cars, far enough to be able to take a look at her wounds but not far enough to wait for help. He was grateful the explosion had not stopped the large exhaust fans from working thus bringing in some air at least.

Once seated, Mac pulled out a few of the napkins he had retrieved from the car and began to wipe away the blood from around her eyes then her cheeks. Finding only a few slightly large gashes on her forehead that had already stopped bleeding, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Stella, stay with me."

Her eyes found his. "Mac? When did you get here?"

Mac froze for a brief moment before covering his own fears and realizations so as not to upset her. Forcing a smile, he replied, "A few minutes ago. Do you remember anything?"

Her tired, green eyes focused upon the wreckage behind him. "I… Uh, there was a…" She gently shook her head. "There was a backup in the tunnel."

He nodded, encouraging her to continue and praying that her short term memory loss moments ago was merely due to her confusion.

"A van. There was a white van that stopped halfway through the tunnel in the middle of the two lanes so no one could get by." Her eyes found Mac's again and grew wide. "Mac… was it…?"

He again nodded. "I think so. I was far enough back not to get the full impact but you…" He caressed her left cheek. "You were only a few cars back. I thought… I was sure…"

Stella reached up and covered his hand with her and squeezed it. "I'm still here." She looked around at the mass crowd of people and cars. "We're lucky the tunnel didn't collapse."

Mac nodded, reluctantly sliding his hand from her face. "But apparently the exit to New York is completely blocked."

"Which gives us two options, neither of which I like," she said quietly.

"Are you okay to walk to the other end?" he asked, standing up.

She looked up at him. "Do I have a choice? I'm certainly not staying in here." Taking hold of his hand to help her stand up. She felt his arm slide around her waist as she swayed a bit. "I'm sorry, Mac. I don't really mean to be so snappy."

Gently he pulled her forward with him. "Blame it on the probable concussion you have," he said.

Along the way, they stopped to help those they could and were relieved to see a few EMTs helping out. Mac had wanted Stella to be seen by one of the EMTs but she would have nothing of it, telling him that there were others who were far more seriously injured.

Nearing the New Jersey side of the Lincoln Tunnel, Stella and Mac heard the loud, terrified screams of the people still in the tunnel. A few ran past them shouting the tunnel was collapsing. Before Stella knew what was happening, Mac dragged her running as quickly as they could to higher ground.

If it had been only him, he would have risked drowning to help the others but he was not about to lose someone else he loved to another possible terrorist attack.

Realizing the overpass would most likely not hold, Mac knew they had only a few precious moments to make it to the other side so he tightened his hold on Stella's hand, praying she was holding up, and ran with every bit of energy he had, weaving in between the stopped cars and anxious drivers who were walking about.

"Mac!" Stella cried, tugging back on his hand.

He turned to face her, still too close to the collapsing tunnel. "We have to keep going. It's not going to hold."

Tears fell from her eyes. "Mac, I can't. I can't go any farther. I'm sorry. Just go."

"You know damn well I'm not leaving you." He wiped away her tears. "Stella, please. Just little further."

The pleading in his eyes gave her that extra strength she needed so she nodded and took hold of his hand once again, allowing him to lead her away from imminent death.

Once far enough away, Stella collapsed in his arms. He caught her and helped her to the grassy area they, and many others, had found.

"Stella?"

She was barely able to keep her eyes open.

"Stella!"

She looked at him but barely registered who was there.

"Stella, stay with me. Please. I can't lose you too," he pleaded and cradled her in his arms as she slipped from consciousness.

Tbc……


	2. Chapter 2

Danny paced back and forth in the break room. "Come on, Mac, answer your phone." Frustrated, he hung up again and instantly hit redial. Looking at Lindsay, she shook her head letting him know she was having no better luck reaching Stella.

Both hung up when Flack walked in.

"Did you find them?" Danny asked.

"No. It's a mess down there and it may be a while before we know anything." He sighed and sat on the couch next to Hawkes. "The…" He bit back tears. "The tunnel collapsed. Many who weren't even inside the tunnel for the initial explosion are lost in the flooding."

Lindsay broke down and clung to Danny.

* * *

Mac sat with Stella and frantically looked around for an ambulance, EMTs or anyone who could help her. "Stella, please wake up," he kept pleading. Finally he saw a large group of people in white jackets running towards the tunnel disaster.

"Hey, we need help over here!" he shouted.

One of the men stopped and ran towards Mac and Stella. He knelt down. "Was she in the tunnel?"

Mac nodded watching the young doctor check for a pulse. "She was a few cars behind the van that exploded. When I got to her she was walking around but a little dazed. It seemed to clear up and we were able to walk out but then the tunnel collapsed and we ran to here. She collapsed about fifteen minutes ago."

"Has she regained consciousness at all in that time?" He opened her eyes to check her pupils.

"No."

The doctor looked at Mac. "Are you her husband?"

"No, but I am her next of kin. Detective Mac Taylor." He looked down at Stella then at the doctor again. "She's Detective Stella Bonasera."

"I'm going to be blunt, Detective Taylor, she has a concussion and, from the looks of her pupils, a bad one. She may never wake up." He picked up his radio and called over to the nearby hospital and asked for a stretcher to have her taken there. "They will be here in a few minutes. I'm sorry to be lacking the bedside manner but there are many other casualties…"

Mac nodded. "I understand. Go. Thank you for your help."

The doctor ran off and Mac was once again left alone with Stella. "Stel, you heard the doctor. He said you might never wake up. Now you have to. You hate when people tell you what you can and can't do."

* * *

Hawkes watched the small television in the break room. Flack paced still trying to call whoever he could for answers and Danny sat next to Lindsay on a smaller lounge with his arm around her and her having cried herself to sleep for a few moments.

Sid and Adam walked in.

"Any word yet?" Sid asked, sympathetically looking at Lindsay.

Hawkes shook his head. "Nothing."

Adam got a water out of the fridge. "The two people who are always around for us and we can't do anything."

Flack slammed his phone on the table. "Damnit, what is so difficult about finding out if New York's top CSIs are alive?"

Lindsay jumped awake, taking a moment to remember where she was. Danny tightened his hold on her as she found her bearings. "Any word yet?" she asked.

Danny shook his head, Sheldon didn't take his eyes off the news coverage, Adam and Sid glanced at each other and Flack stormed off, afraid of what he might do or say otherwise.

* * *

Mac kept a tight hold of Stella's hand as she was wheeled down the hallway to radiology. Once there, the technicians held Mac back.

"We'll let you know when you can see her," a nurse told him.

"Can I please have a moment with her?" he pleaded.

Giving him a sympathetic nod, she stepped aside and motioned for the others to do the same. It was not looking good for Stella and they knew it. The least they could do was give him some time with her.

Mac leaned down close to her face. "Stel, you're in good hands now. They're going to take care of you and I'm not leaving here without you." With tears in his eye, and one or two of his tears falling to her face, he continued. "You think I would have learned after Claire not to wait until a disaster to say the things I mean to but… I love you, Stella. I can't make it without you. This may be selfish, but I need you to get through this. I won't survive without you."

The nurse tapped him on his shoulder letting him know it was time. Placing a kiss on her cheek, he stood up but continued holding her hand until she was far out of his reach.

Broken hearted, he managed to make his way to the nearby waiting room where he sat and cried.

* * *

The team, minus Mac, Stella and Flack, remained together in the break room. Co-workers had offered to take over the cases they were working on.

The door to the room opened and a very worn-down Flack walked back in. Off the expectant eyes of the others, he shook his head. "No word yet. But we have a group claiming responsibility. Apparently, there was a falling out between the Northern Jersey Gambino's and a new Irish Mafia group in New York – the Coonans. The Gambino's are the ones claiming responsibility, however they also claim that the bomb went off too early. It was never supposed to go off in the tunnel. Apparently it was on a timer and they had expected the van to make it out of the tunnel before it blew up." Flack clenched his fists. "I swear, if anything happened to Mac or Stella…"

Lindsay pressed herself a little more against Danny's side. She had seen Flack angry before – they all had – but never as angry as he was now. It scared her.

Danny's jaw tightened. "And they think that's an _excuse_? It wasn't _meant_ to destroy the tunnel? To kill so many innocent lives?"

"Danny," Lindsay whispered.

He looked at her and quieted.

"I'm going to try my friend at Palisades Medical again," Hawkes offered. He had been trying to reach him since the news about the tunnel came out but cell phone lines were jammed as were landlines. He stepped out of the room.

The others once again returned their attention to the TV. The scenes unfolding before them brought back memories of another time many years ago. The news cameras panned over the flooded streets of midtown Manhattan, the area that was once the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel on the Jersey side – now under many feet of the Hudson River, people frantically swimming or screaming for help.

Hawkes walked back in.

All eyes turned towards him.

He swallowed hard. "I managed to get hold of Jeff. He… he remembers helping them on his way to the Tunnel." He paused. "Mac was okay but Stella… He said she appeared to have a severe concussion and was unconscious."

No one said anything until the ear piercing shrill of Hawkes' cell phone rang. "Hello?"

There was a nurse on the other end. "Is this Dr. Sheldon Hawkes?"

"Yes."

"I'm calling you from Palisades Medical. I just got off the phone with Dr. Stevens and he said you were looking for some friends?"

"Yes, Mac Taylor and Stella Bonasera."

The others kept watching him closely.

"Hang on a moment. I believe Mr. Taylor is in the waiting room."

Hawkes' heart was pounding. The nurse had not sounded encouraging. "It's a nurse at Palisades. She's going to get Mac."

Finally a familiar, yet broken, voice said, "Hawkes?"

"Mac! Thank God. Are you and Stella okay?"

Mac opened his mouth to respond but could not speak.

"Mac?"

"She's…" Mac swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't know."

"Okay, Mac. What happened and where did they take her?"

Flack sat down.

"She was fine, a little dazed but… we got away from the tunnel and she collapsed. Hasn't regained consciousness. They… um, brought her immediately to radiology. I think they're doing a PET scan."

Remembering Jeff Stevens telling him that when he saw Stella he wasn't encouraged, Hawkes did his best. "Okay, that's where she needs to be right now. If they are going to help her, they need to know what's going on." He knew Mac knew all that but could also tell at the moment Mac was in no condition to think straight.

"I have to go."

"Mac!" But it was too late; the elder CSI had already hung up.

Hawkes slid the phone in his pocket. "Mac's okay. They have Stella in radiology."

"Sheldon?" Lindsay's voice was small.

"I don't know. Mac said she hasn't regained consciousness. Which would make it at least an hour or two that she has been unconscious."

"That's not good," Sid muttered.

Danny shifted. "How did Mac sound?"

"If Stella doesn't pull through this…" Hawkes shook his head and the rest understood.

Lindsay gasped and pointed to the television. New video was starting to be shown on the news. Clips showed people clawing their way up the nearby cliff, milling around their cars on the roadway leading to the tunnel, injured wandering in a confused state then the one clip they would never forget. Mac sitting on the ground, tears rolling down his face as he cradled an obviously unconscious Stella in his lap.

Not a dry eye was found among them, nor among those in the lab who had found themselves gathering around smaller televisions throughout the building.

* * *

"Mr. Taylor?"

Mac looked up; his eyes red and raw. Upon seeing the doctor, he immediately stood up. "How is she?"

Taking a deep breath, the doctor motioned for him to sit back down and sat in the chair beside him. "First, my name is Dr. Evan Hartley. I understand you are the one who can make medical decisions for her?"

Mac's heart stopped. His body froze. "Yes," he managed.

"We rushed the results of the scan. I'm sorry, there's no easy way to tell you this. Her skull is fractured in two places and I suspect due to impact from her being so close to the explosion, there is some swelling of the brain. We need to go in an relieve the pressure on her skull but we need you're permission to do that."

The tears that had subsided for a bit threatened to return with a vengeance. "What…" Mac bit his lower lip. "What are her chances with the surgery and without?"

"Without, less than five percent. With? I honestly can't say. My medical opinion is the surgery may be her only chance."

Looking down at his shaking hands, Mac asked, "May I use your phone to make a call? My cell is back… was…."

"You can use the phone in my office."

Dr. Hartley took Mac to his office and left him alone. Closing his eyes for a moment, Mac reached for the phone and dialed a number.

Tbc….


	3. Chapter 3

Hawkes nearly jumped when his cell phone rang amidst the deafening silence of the room. "Hello?"

"Sheldon, it's Mac, I need your medical opinion."

'It's Mac', he mouthed to the others. "What do you need to know?" Inwardly, he cringed at the hoarseness of his boss' voice.

"Um, the PET scan. The doctor told me it showed Stella's skull is fractured in two places and there is swelling of the brain that they need to go in and relieve."

Hawkes took a deep breath, closed his eyes and leaned back against the couch.

The others knew it was not good news.

"Are you her decision maker?"

Lindsay barely stifled a sob as she buried her face into Danny's shoulder. He pulled her close and felt tears of his own dampen his face. Sid buried his face in his hands while Flack ran his fingers through his hair out of frustration and Adam ran out of the room.

"Yes. He said without the surgery she has less than a five percent chance of surviving. He can't give a percentage with the surgery."

"He's right, Mac. It may be her only chance. Who's the doctor?"

"Um, Hartley. Evan. Evan Hartley."

"He's one of the best brain surgeons in the northeast."

"That's what I needed to know. Thank you. I'll call you again when I can."

"We're all here and not going anywhere."

Hawkes hung up and only then realized he, too, had tears running from his eyes. "Stella is going into surgery to relieve some swelling of her brain. Her skull is fractured in two places."

"We should be there with Mac, not here!" Flack growled.

"There's no way to get there, Don," Sid reminded him. "The best we can do is wait and pray."

* * *

Mac opened the office door to find Dr. Hartley standing in the hall. "Do what you have to to give her the best chance she has." 

Dr. Hartley nodded. "There are some papers you will need to sign but we'll get her prepped meanwhile."

"May I see her?"

"She hasn't regained consciousness, Mr. Taylor."

Mac nodded. "I just need to see her. Let her know I'm still here."

With an understanding smile, Dr. Hartley said, "I will personally come and get you right before we are ready to take her in."

"Thank you."

Handing Mac the papers that needed signing, Dr. Hartley excused himself.

Twenty minutes later, the doctor returned. "We're ready."

* * *

Taking a deep breath to steady his voice, Mac slowly walked over to the bed that held a very pale, very still, Stella. Her head was wrapped with white bandaging. Mac turned to the doctor. 

"We didn't have to shave all her hair. We think we will be able to get away with just a small patch just above her ear. No one will notice."

"I don't care as long as she's alive to be angry about it," Mac muttered before turning back to Stella. He held her hand tightly in his. Tears blurred his vision once again. "I'm right here, Stella. I told you I'm not leaving this place without you and I mean it." He leaned closer to her ear. "I also meant it when I said I love you. I should have allowed myself to accept that a long time ago." He kissed her cheek. "Please hang on. Please pull through. Please… Please come back to me."

The nurse came over and he knew it was time. Mac watched them wheel Stella into the operating room. His life had been ripped from him six years ago and only Stella had saved him from himself after Claire had disappeared beneath the rubble. Who would save him if he lost Stella? Did he want to be saved if that happened? Feeling even more helpless than he had when the towers fell, he felt his knees begin to give out from under him. Fighting for what little strength he had left, he made his way to the hospital chapel and, for the first time in years, found himself turning to the one he had stopped believing in on that hot, humid, horrific day that had taken Claire from him. He had cursed God for taking Claire yet now he found himself begging God to let Stella stay.

* * *

"We should be there with him," Lindsay whispered. "He shouldn't be at the hospital going through all this himself." 

Flack's phone rang. His voice was scratchy from crying but he answered. Suddenly his blue eyes sparkled a little. "Thank you." He hung up and looked to the others. Adam had returned but had remained silent. They had suspected he didn't want them to see him cry. "That was my captain. Seems he owes Mac a favor so he's sending over a chopper to take us to the hospital. It will be here in a few minutes."

* * *

The nurses had taken turns checking on Mac, who has no longer the lone occupant of the waiting room. They had brought him coffee and updated him as best they could. He had merely smiled weakly in appreciation for their concern. Slowly he realized this was the first time he had ever had to wait alone in a hospital. Throughout the years when one of the team was injured, Stella was always right there by his side. _It's what we do. We take care of each other._ Her voice echoed in his head. She had said that to him while they waited anxiously for Flack to wake up after his chest had been ripped open by another bomb. She had brought him coffee, held his hand, offered words of encouragement, sat silently and listened as he talked things through. She had been his strength. She was who he needed sitting there beside him in the waiting room to get through this. 

"Mac?"

He looked up from his coffee and saw his entire team standing just inside the entrance of the waiting room. "Do I want to know how you all managed to get here?"

They walked over to him. Lindsay sat on the one empty chair beside him.

Flack shrugged. "A few people owed you a few favors so I managed to get a chopper."

Danny shuffled his feet. "Is there any word yet?"

Shaking his head, Mac looked back down at the Styrofoam coffee cup in his hands. "They tell me it will be another few hours." He felt Lindsay tentatively rest her hand on his shoulder. Part of him wanted to push her away. Only Stella was allowed to do that. The other part of him reminded him Stella was the reason Lindsay was trying to comfort him. "I'm glad you were able to get here," he told them quietly.

tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

Unlike other times Mac had spent the better part of a day in hospital waiting rooms, this time the room never empty. With his friends asleep, he looked around at all the other anxious faces. So many had been lost that day. So many others no doubt would be lost in the days to come. A pang of guilt nipped at his heart. He had been so focused on Stella that he had not even bothered to help. He was a police officer. Sworn to serve and protect.

"There was nothing you would have been able to do to help the others," Flack softly told him as if reading his mind.

"I was selfish," he countered.

"Mac, if you had stayed you and Stella wouldn't be here right now. Trust me, don't do this to yourself. You would not have been able to make a difference this time."

Mac looked to the younger detective. "What if she doesn't make it?"

Flack opened his mouth but said nothing. What could he say? None of them had ever been able to get through to Mac like Stella. They all knew she was his rock. She was the one who kept him from completely closing himself off. Without her… without her they might lose Mac as well.

* * *

Sid glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was nearly nine in the morning and still no word. He stretched and noticed Mac was the only other one awake.

"How do you like your coffee?" he asked, stretching.

"I've had more than enough, but thank you, Sid." Mac sighed. "Not knowing is the worst."

Nodding, Sid sat back a bit. "I know."

Mac glanced at him.

"My sister, when we were kids. We had been climbing a giant tree and she was at least twenty feet up when she lost her grip. I was a few branches beneath her and all I could do was watch her fall. When I heard the thud I was sure… She was in a coma for a week. No one knew if she's make it." Sid smiled. "But she did. Today she's a neurosurgeon in Miami." He paused. "Don't give up on Stella, Mac. She's the strongest person I've ever known. And a fighter."

Mac smiled. She was definitely a fighter. One of the best. Having been on the receiving end of some of her more passionate fights, he knew better than to question. "I'm not. I won't."

Doctor Hartley walked over to the group of friends. "Mr. Taylor?"

At the sound of his voice, the others immediately awoke.

Shaking, Mac stood up.

"She's out of surgery." The doctor took a deep breath. This was not going to be easy. "We were able to relieve the pressure."

"But?" Mac asked.

"She's in a coma. It is to be expected with such an injury and I'm sorry. We have no way of knowing when or if she will wake up. We are monitoring her. Her brain activity is good so that's a good sign."

Hawkes stood beside Mac.

"May I… May I see her?" Mac's voice cracked a bit.

He nodded. "They're taking her to ICU right now. I'll let them know you are allowed in."

"Doctor Hartley, I'm Doctor Hawkes. I was wondering if I could take a look at her chart and discuss her condition?"

Hartley looked at Mac who gave his nod of approval. He then looked back at Hawkes. "Follow me."

Without looking at the others, Mac merely said, "Please tell him I'll be in the chapel," and walked out.

"Is he going to be alright?" Adam softly verbalized the question everyone else was thinking.

Flack shook his head. "Not if Stella doesn't pull through this."

* * *

Mac slid into one of the pews, folded his hands and stared at the large cross in front of him. A memory of Stella standing beside him in front of a church on a case flashed through his mind. _Do you still go to church?_ she had asked. There had been an understanding smile upon his response. He had never needed to go into detail with her. She always knew, always understood. More memories flooded his mind. Her being so excited over a break in a case that she kissed him on the cheek. Her standing on the street, soaked to the bone, after a drop-off had been interrupted by a test run by the police. _That's Stella talk for it's time to get the bullet._ Never had he seen a woman so angry look so sexy carrying a semi-automatic. Most would have, and should have, been terrified of a very ticked off Stella Bonasera holding such a weapon but he found it both sexy and amusing_. You really know how to treat a girl._ She smirked when he handed her the hotdog that was to be her dinner on him. _Irish coffee. You'll love it._ Since that night, Irish coffee had become one of his favorites.

If only he had not called her to join him in Jersey. If only he had worked a little harder on the scene and left her back at the lab in New York. Then she would have been safe. Then he would have heard her laughter, seen her smile, felt her touch when he needed it most.

He heard someone else come in and looked up. Doctor Hartley stopped.

"I'll take you to her now if you'd like."

* * *

Tbc…. Last chapter coming soon! 


	5. Chapter 5

Two weeks went by slowly. She had been moved to a private room once her vitals had stabilized a bit, but she had yet to regain consciousness. Mac refused to leave her. He had used the shower in her private room and the others had taken turns making sure he ate and had changes of clothing.

As the sun broke through the thin hospital curtains, Mac stirred from his sleep. He calmed when he felt Stella's warm hand in his. She was still with him. _Wait. Warm?_ Instantly his head shot up and his eyes fell on her pale face surrounded by a pool of curls. His heart sank. Nothing had changed. It was only in his dreams that he could talk to her, laugh with her, take her to dinner, treat her like she deserved.

Lifting her hand to his lips, he placed a gently kiss on her palm. It was something he had done instinctively since the ICU room and, well, perhaps it was a bit superstitious of him but he was afraid that maybe the one day he didn't would be the day she would completely slip away from him.

"I like that."

He could not move.

"Mac," the very hoarse voice continued.

He looked at her and felt tears once more fill his eyes as tired, but very much alive, green eyes met his gaze. "St… Stella?" he asked to be sure, moving his chair so he could lean in closer to her face.

"Here."

Mac's fingers shook as he reached over to touch her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Not feeling much." She struggled to give him a small smile. "Morphine?"

He nodded and smiled back through his tears.

"My hair?"

Mac laughed despite the seriousness of the situation. "You're hair is fine. I assure you the doctor did not want to deal with your wrath if he had shaved your whole head." He ran his fingers through a few loose strands of her hair and looked deep in her eyes. "You scared the hell out of me."

Her smile faded. His face showed her all she needed to know. Her prognosis had not been a good one and it had taken its toll on him. "Sorry. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm perfect now that you're awake." He kissed her forehead. "Let me get the doctor."

Mac stayed with Stella as Doctor Hartley examined her and talked to her. Satisfied that she was on her way to a full recovery with no obvious signs of permanent brain damage, he left the friends alone and promised to be back later to follow up.

A nurse arrived almost immediately to take some blood, give Stella a sponge bath and change the IV. Mac excused himself so he could call everyone.

Standing outside the hospital entrance, Mac sat on a nearby bench and just breathed. Stella was awake. Stella had come back to him.

He dialed Flack's number, knowing he would be the one who could spread the word the fastest.

"Hi, Don. She's awake." He smiled when Don shouted it to everyone.

"How is she? Is she able to talk?"

Grinning, Mac responded, "She's able to talk and she's still Stella. There are no signs of permanent brain damage, though they will be running more tests later."

"Thank God, Mac. Thank God."

"Don't worry, I will be," he told him, saying his goodbyes.

Anxious to get back to her side, Mac knew he had one more important stop to make. Slowly he opened the door to the chapel and found it empty. Foregoing the pew seat, he walked to the front of the chapel and knelt before the cross, folding his hands together and bowing his head. "Thank you. Thank you for sparing her life."

* * *

Another week had passed and Stella continued to make a quick recovery. Mac continued to stay by her side, still refusing to leave, even at her own insistence. He had more than enough vacation days saved up and he would use every single one of them to be able to stay with her. Finally, after numerous more tests, Doctor Hartley agreed to allow Stella to be transferred to a hospital in New York City, closer to her home.

Mac was packing up her things, which included numerous plants, stuffed animals and books given to her by everyone at the lab. "At least I don't need to get you anything for Christmas," he teased, tossing the last of the stuffed animals in a box.

"Mac?"

He stopped and looked at her. She was still confined to bed and it was driving her, and everyone around her, insane. "Yeah?"

"You didn't kiss my hand today."

A large smile grew on his lip and quickly reached his eyes. In two steps he was beside her bed, holding her hand and placed a kiss on the palm of her hand. "Sorry." When he looked at her face, he squeezed her hand. "What's wrong? Do you need me to get the doctor?"

She slowly shook her head. The tears that had filled her eyes quickly slide down her cheeks. "You were scared. You were crying."

Mac was confused. "Stel, I don't…"

"When they brought me here. I heard you. You were crying. You asked me to stay with you, not to leave you."

Holding her hand against his chest, just above his heart, he leaned in closer to her. "Yes, I did. But you were unconscious."

Her eyes sought his and he immediately knew what else she thought she heard him say. He nodded. "I said that too."

"Mac, was it really that bad? Was I really that close to dying?"

He did not answer. He did not trust his voice enough.

"I don't remember much yet but I do remember hearing your voice in my ear. I remember feeling your hand holding mine."

Mac sat on the edge of her bed and held her. "It doesn't matter anymore. You're here and alive and awake and that's all that matters," he whispered. "That's all that matters."

Stella broke down in his arms. What if the situation had been reversed? What if she had been the one left behind waiting, wondering, worrying? She held him tighter. "I love you too, Mac," she quietly said.

* * *

One Month Later….

Stella sat in her apartment waiting for Mac. She checked her hair and makeup in the mirror then settled on the couch. While not yet cleared to return to work, she had finally been cleared for short trips outside the confines of her place and Mac had promised to take her out to dinner to celebrate.

Glancing around what had become her prison of late, she found herself smiling. Mac's carefully folded jacket lay on a chair in the corner next to the two suitcases he had packed of his stuff upon informing her he was moving in with her until she was better – and for once he won out. She had warned him not to get used to winning against her. He had laughed.

The couch had been his bed for a good bit of that time until she had insisted he share the bed. It was more than big enough for two and she assured him if he dared to try anything a bed of nails would be more comfortable than what she'd do to him. She trusted him more than herself at times and laughed when his eyes grew wide and he had stuttered trying to assure her he had no intentions of such.

A key in the door alerted her Mac was back. She walked over to the door as it opened.

"Wow," Mac said, grinning. "I take it someone is anxious to get out of here?"

She twirled for him so he could see her entire outfit – a slim-fitting, short, black dress - low-cut both in the back and front. It left very little to the imagination. She walked up to him and hugged him before he even closed the door. "Yes, very. Please, can we go?"

He laughed and held her tight before stepping away. "Give me a minute to get changed."

Stella pouted.

Mac took her hand and kissed her palm.

Stella grinned. "You know, you could change that ritual if you'd like."

"I kind of like that ritual of ours."

She stepped closer to him, resting her hands on his chest. "I didn't mean changing the ritual of kissing me. Just the ritual of where you kiss me."

His arms snaked around her waist. "Really? And where exactly did you have in mind?"

They drew a bit closer to each other, feeling the other's breath tickle their lips.

"I'm sure you'll think of something. You are pretty smart, Detective Taylor."

His blue eyes sparkled as he closed the hairsbreadth gap between them, softly pressing his lips against hers.

Pulling back ever so slightly, Stella smiled. "See, I knew you'd think of something." With that, she pressed her lips to his once more and deepened the kiss. She felt his arms tighten around her and pull her closer to him as hers wrapped around his neck, bringing him even closer to her.

A need for air separated them and Mac rested his forehead against hers. "So do I get out of taking you to dinner tonight?"

Stella laughed. "Not in a million years. You take me to dinner and we'll see what happens about desert."

They kissed once more. They would be a little late for their reservation time but it was well worth it.

The End


End file.
